Buddhism and romantic relationships - Wikipedia
In regards to romantic relationships, Buddhism has very liberal views. Buddhism encourages In Buddhism, marriage is not a religious obligation, a means for procreation, or a romantic notion of love. It is simply an option for each individual to. Feb 14, The key to working skillfully with desire and intimate relationships is to teacher and the author of Rebel Buddha and Emotional Rescue. However, a commitment to the Buddhist path can help many areas of life to go much more smoothly. Here are five ways practicing basic Buddhist principles can .
That's not a healthy way to be in any relationship. Across the board, bringing that kind of neurotic desire to the table is a recipe for an unhealthy relationship. Ultimately it doesn't matter who you are -- man, woman, straight, gay, lesbian, transsexual, black or white, whatever.
It's not about those issues. It's about how you work with your mind. In any close, loving relationship, we need to find the right balance of personal freedom and commitment. When two partners can be together in a way that respects each person's individual space and at the same time expresses unequivocal commitment, then both parties can relax and be who they are.
What does that look like? You could say that half of each partner belongs to the other one.
When the two halves come together, they form one whole person: Yet there are still two other halves left over. Your partner may be joined to you, but he or she still has that other half that isn't joined to you. That other half might include different religious beliefs, social activities, favorite hobbies or sports, and TV shows.
Heart to Heart: The Importance of Freedom and Commitment in Intimate Relationships
You should respect your partner's freedom, the needs and preferences of his or her other half. Yet, at the same time, the two halves that are joined together are clearly united, and so each has some responsibility for the health of the relationship and for the other person's welfare and happiness.Ajahn Amaro on Love, Relationships, and Attachment
It's not like you're fully free to do whatever you want. You have some responsibility towards the half of your partner that's joined to you, but you don't have to try to control and change the half that's not. So we need some balance between autonomy and commitment, between individual space and shared bonds.
Commitment is very good because it helps us to not go wild, to not lose all sense of self-discipline or mindfulness of our speech or actions. But respecting individual space is also very important. Otherwise we become possessive and controlling, which is not healthy. If the relationship is too tight, both partners feel suffocated.
But if it's totally loose and there's no sense of commitment or discipline, no awareness of common ground, then there is no real heart connection. And that's what a relationship is: The key to working skillfully with desire and intimate relationships is to develop mindfulness of our emotional patterns -- particularly how we handle the many manifestations of our desire.
Am I aware of how I react when I'm feeling jealous or neglected, or how predictable am I when disappointed? Do I become angry or clingy or begin to plot emotional revenge?
How Non-Attachment Can Benefit Your Relationship
What helps me to be open? What sparks my sense of generosity or forgiveness? If we can't even see how our emotional habits are manifesting from moment to moment, we don't have much hope for transforming them or developing a healthy emotional life. With mindfulness, we don't have to relinquish or run away from our emotions.
What we want to do is to develop a straightforward and honest relationship with our emotions. We want to see them for what they are as well. Bringing a moment or two of mindful awareness to a situation that's about to carry us away can "save" us from taking another rollercoaster ride.
And developing a strong habit of mindful attention can help us keep our emotional life in a proper balance. Shout out to Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys.
Then the most important question came up: What were our intentions and which words expressed them best? As we read the words that other couples had spoken to each other, I became increasingly uncomfortable.
Marriage is a commitment to share love, have sex, and try to stay together with this one person, right? And ask him to commit to me? I said yes to the unfolding, impenetrable arc of uncertainty.
I guess I thought that finding love was an endpoint, that some kind of search was over and I would find home.
Buddhism and romantic relationships
We would leap over the threshold together into whatever we imagined our ideal cottage to be. But really we stepped through a crazy looking glass. No matter how hard we tried, how madly in love we were, or how skillfully we planned our life together, there was complete uncertainty about what the connection would feel like from day to day.
I could give all the love I had with great joy and get back a blank stare. I could wake up as my crankiest, most sullen and narcissistic self, roll over, and greet the face of unconditional acceptance. As far as I can see, the relationship never stabilizes, ever.